5 unlikely lessons after 10 sessions of DnD.
What 10 sessions of the world’s greatest RPG taught me.
There are stacks of articles, videos, and video essays throughout the internet teaching you how to be a better mechanical player in Dungeons and Dragons. In fact, the official DnD site can do a better job than I ever can, check that out here. What this recurring Beginner’s Guide to Beginning Dungeons and Dragons will do is go beyond the game and explore, with a party of four, some of the things I’ve learnt about myself, about life and the people while playing DnD.
But more importantly, how learning about yourself makes you a better DnD player.
Lesson 1: Absorb Everything
When you start, you’ll have rulebooks, The Player’s Handbook, articles and YouTube videos to watch. Throw yourself into it. You will be creating a whole person (humanoid I guess?) from the ground up, inhabiting their space for a very long time.
You’ll want to be extremely prepared. But the best place to start is…you guessed it, yourself!
Where are you in life? Are you feeling like a confident badass who doesn’t mind taking up space and can talk their way out of anything? Then think about playing a bard. Is your back sore from constantly carrying your friend group by being the vibe of the party and rather wanting to take a back seat? Why not try out a sullen rogue with dark past.
But in like a cool, aloof way?
Lesson 2: Be Vulnerable
Roleplaying is one of the best parts of DnD, It’s also incredibly embarrassing for us beginners. You’re playing pretend. And that’s something we haven’t done since we were kids. Playing pretend is essentially the act of creating a safe space to understand complex thoughts and explore new scenarios. Being vulnerable allows you to dive deeper into this state of play, allowing you to explore the world you and your party are in, as well as
Real-world emotions.
If you’re someone who struggles with confidence, why not roleplay an incredibly charismatic bard who has all the confidence in the world? A very specific example because that’s exactly what I’m doing.
Flirting with a tavern owner’s wife, being terrified while talking to a dragon, and failing to infiltrate a band of criminals- my half-orc bard, Gronk and I, have had some exhilarating moments. All because I’ve warmed up to the idea of being vulnerable.
Lesson 3: Be Brave
As mentioned at the beginning of the piece. You’re going to have a lot of reading material to get through. And with it comes a huge amount of decisions to make. What is your character’s background? What do they look like? What their flaws and wants are, all the above! This was a huge challenge for me. I was constantly going back on forth as to what the right abilities Gronk needed to add value. It’s something I’m still dealing with. But like Gronk, I need to be brave and trust in my choices.
Lesson 4: The Importance of 3rd Places
Nerds have multiple hobbies. But those usually involve a computer screen, controller, or book at home. Post-pandemic, with everyone slowly starting to emerge from our burrows, the importance that people place on activities outside their usual routine is growing back to a normal level. And as I too started to emerge, I wanted to find something to challenge myself with a new group of people.
Third places are areas outside the work or home. A community that offers you a sense of belonging and care beyond the 9-5 and your usual hobbit hole. It’s a place that usually isn’t connected to those two other areas, allowing us to meet new people and experience new things as a group. This was something I found myself seriously craving this year, and DnD ticked plenty of these boxes.
Not only has it allowed me to explore, discover and rediscover aspects of myself, its opened my world to new people and places that I wouldn’t have experienced otherwise.
I’ve found an incredible community that I see every week, laugh with, solve problems with, and live (another) life with. It’s a comforting feeling, the stability of our sessions, the warmth of the group of strangers I can now very, very happily call friends.
It punctuates one of Critical Role’s famous sayings even more for me right now: “Is it Thursday yet?” they exclaim immediately after each one of their sessions. Almost willing the universe to hit the 3x speed button as their next DnD-less days loom.
This 3rd place makes our adventures even more important. And my commitment to discovering more about myself and this new fantastical world more resolute.
Lesson 5: Have Fun (Not in a cringy way)
Picture this: work has been a nightmare this week. People have been all up in your grill. Socialising is the last thing on your mind and all you want to do is find an escape. Fun fact, DnD is literally one big escape, you don’t even have to be yourself! I’ve found that DnD has been an incredible way to take a breather and enjoy an incredible time with friends. To let loose and enjoy the moment around a table. It feels very similar in personal time to therapy. It’s a time just for you and what you need. DnD gives you the space to explore and have a fulfilling night at least once a week. Or more if your party is spicy 😉.
I’ve learnt so much in the last couple of weeks and I can’t wait to share where I’ll be next time. My group and I play every Wednesday, so I’ll leave you with this:
Is it Wednesday yet?
